Kinder Eggs Are So Depressing...

These things are depressing. Why? Well let me explain...

Kinder Eggs are milk and white chocolate eggs. They are a stable part of a kid's childhood and diet. All children love chocolate, that's no secret. So, here's what a Kinder Egg looks like once opened...

There it is in all its glory. An egg made of milk and white chocolate. If you don't find that impressive then you should see what is in the middle of that egg of chocolate glory...

A little yellow capsule rests inside a Kinder Egg. And if your child isn't already bouncing off the walls after cramming chocolate down their throats, then when you hand them this little capsule they will be. For once they have opened the capsule (or get you to open it because those things are damn hard to open) then inside is a "toy"

My little sisters recieved this:

And this:

The one directly above was easy to "build" for her as all I had to do was blow it up, like a Chinese lantern. The downside of that "toy" was less than five minutes later she was in tears because it has deflated and she had managed to rip it beyond repair.

The other "toy" required me to build it. Now, I'm no expert in joinery, in fact I do my best to keep away from anything that resembles a hammer, saw or screwdriver because I know I'll end up in hospital with some horrific injury.
Anyway I built it for her. It took me roughly half an hour by following the instructions. In the end I became so frustrated that I handed it to someone else. That and I couldn't take her whining about wanting her "doy".

Here's what it looked like built up:

Three minutes later we were back at square one.

How depressing can they be? Your child gets to stuff their face with chocolate which keeps them quiet until they are done. They also get a free toy which will also keep them quiet for a while.

But the downside of this is; chocolate will make your child hyper (trust me a chocolate and coca-cola combination fed to my sister is like setting a bull off in a china shop), therefore they'll probably destroy your house.
Another downside of a Kinder Egg is that the "toy" will test your paitence and your ability to clip microscopic pieces together. This "toy" will then break in less than an hour. If it doesn't then chances are the dog will eat it, you will stand on it whilst barefoot or it will be hoovered up. Your child will not even miss it.

But the most depressing thing about a Kinder Egg was watching your friends/siblings recieve a "cool toy" while you get a crappy jigsaw!!

And that ruins a kids childhood.