I was watching a T.V. programme called "Bizarre ER" which is on BBC 3. When I say "watching" what I mean is I watched it through a cushion. It's not scary or anything, just really, really gross!! Some of those injuries are enough to make you weep from your sofa. For example, there was the kid with Lego stuffed so far up his nose that he had to go under the knife to get it out. Or the kid who ran down a quarry, fell, landed, sat up and discovered there was a stick poking out the side of his head. Yuck.
But that's not the worst. I didn't need the cushion for those kind of injuries. (Although anything not in the right place, anything not pointing the way it should and anything losing way to much blood means the cushion gets to watch).
The programme also does a special on some poor sod who's had a really horrific accident which has left them somehow alive. Like the guy who's entire face moved 1cm to the other side after he was hit by this huge...um... thingie... which snapped off of a lorry and smacked him on the side of his face. Or the guy who was attacked by thousands of bees and left mentally screwed over by buzzing noises. Or the guy who fell off of his skateboard and hit his head so hard that his skull had to be put in a freezer (his own mothers freezer too) to help it fuse back together and also to help the swelling in his brain go down.
Now these special reports are all acompanied by photographs. Disturbing photographs of strange shaped heads. Disturbing photographs of a guy covered in bees (he was a funny colour as well). Disturbing surgical photographs. Photographs that probably won't come out at family gatherings. Actually they might... Yuck.
But sometimes there are worse injuries than that. For the second week in a row a guy has been wheeled in, looking really pale and groaning with his hand wrapped in a bloodsoaked bandage. Both of these guys were a pretty good age and both were (I think) experienced joiners. So both would hopefully know the dangers of THE ELECTRIC SAW. Both didn't...
It was just horrific and is proof that human hands and saws do not mix. The first guy managed to give his hand one huge hole. Actually it can't be described as a hole; it was just a red spongy mess. He didn't have any fingers!! I can't describe the horror at looking at someones fingers lying on a table in front of their owner who's just staring in complete shock at them. I'll end it there because I'm beginning to feel shuddery again. The guys hand was saved but after a hell of a lot of surgery.
So the second guy enters. His hand and fingers were still attached to the arm. Sort of. On the back of his hand was a huge cut which had folded his skin into his tendons which ment his hand was useless. The surgeons did a great job at making it look more like a hand again but he'd lost a lot of its use.
So the lesson here is:
- Don't screw around with electric saws!!! The inside of your hand is red and squidgy and gross, no-one really wants to see it. And sometimes fingers can't be sewen back on..
Actually I do not know why I attempt to watch that programme.
*Hold onto your panties people!! Next Tuesday (May 3rd) I'm going to see The Defiled at Ivory Blacks in Glasgow. Expect a blog around next Thursday or the Tuesday after!!! Just so you know I am sooo excited for this!!*
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